MISS ELAINEOUS VISITS THE VIKTOR WYND MUSEUM OF CURIOSITIES...

Friends ~ Oddballs ~ Fellow Weirdos...

Here is a review of a delightful static freak show which will surely titillate those of you who, like myself, eschew the conventional and prefer the downright insane... 

The Viktor Wynd (pronounced wind- the same as in a fart) Museum of Curiosities was funded on Kickstarter (the world's largest funding programme for creative projects) in 2015, after opening as a curiosity shop in 2005.

Not far up the road from me in Hackney, east London, the building is home to The Last Tuesday Society, which puts on literary and creative events with a macabre twist; such as Magnificent Masquerade Balls, Wyndestock- a boutique festival, seances and taxidermy classes.

Tailor made for fans of 'Ripley's Believe It Or Not!' tourist attractions (I've been to the Blackpool branch), you can expect to find: skeletons; taxidermy; shrunken heads; erotic art; celebrity faeces; erections (the penile kind) and other exquisitely unusual things preserved in jars.  My tongue is firmly in my cheek whilst writing this review (and in the museum, that's the best place for it- you wouldn't want to lick these objects- unless you are really twisted...)

The museum in Mare Street, Hackney.  There is an ominous sign on the door that reads:- This is not a brothel.  There are no prostitutes at this address.

There is a cocktail bar as you enter, and the museum is accessed by a windy spiral staircase into the basement.  A word of warning- it's best to tackle the stairs before consuming alcohol.  They are tricky enough to negotiate when sober.

This dummy reminds me of Katie Price...

Babies in the womb display, plus the skeleton of Siamese twins.  There is no rhyme or reason to this museum, but then again why should there be?  Enjoy it just for the sake of enjoying it.

A taxidermy bat-like thing hanging down.  I am going to revisit this museum as I found out, once I was there, that flash photography is allowed.  Only I didn't use a flash as my camera eats batteries and the low battery sign was flickering, even though I'd replaced the batteries already that day. 

Note:- I invested in some heavy-duty Duracells and returned a month later, and re-took some photos.  Just not this one..

This was taken (with a flash!) during my return, with the SuperDean in tow.  Sebastian Horseley was a Dandy, and here is his sequinned suit...

The museum contains many interestingly titled books, such as Warfare In The Enemy's Rear...

If You Want  Closure In Your Relationship, Start With Your Legs...

I have no idea what the hand signifies, but an eight-legged-sheep is next to it...

A two-headed sheep...

Pleasure Alley, Straight To Hell and Fish Who Answer The Telephone books, plus a selection of dead specimens...

Animal turds in a jar...

Small pecker condoms.  For the man who doesn't have everything...😃

Ballbag condoms...

Skull popcorn.

The World's Longest Standing Erection.  Also known as the 18th century knob of a hanged man...

Sexual pleasure is enhanced by restricted oxygen flow to the brain, as noted at the gallows.  Asphyxiophilia was blamed for the deaths of Tory MP Stephen Milligan and INXS singer Michael Hutchence.

Freaky head...

Fine art by Stephen Wright, entitled Inmates From The House Of Dreams...

I quite like the red shoes.  I would!

Flat mice and interesting reads...  There are also two (not three!) blind mice in a different cabinet...

In the centre of the photo is the ball-sack of a north American man.  I wouldn't want it on my chin!

Blue babies...

Viktor Wynd wore these pants on the opening night of the museum...

Some kind of animal cyclops in a jar.  Nice...

Torture device...

The Lion's Chamber in the Wunderkabinett.  This is the skeleton of Mortimer The Lion.

Erotic pictures line the walls...

A sea monster is on the ceiling...

  A glass coffin containing a female skeleton...

Cabinet of knobs...

A box containing an edible anus...

An uneaten, chocolate John Major.  I think I had a 'what the fuck?' moment when I saw this!  This museum is bizarre...

A hanged man...

The Gnostic Temple Of Agape is an area used to create spells, practice alchemy and summon angels and spirits from another world.  The museum is quite dark and, for some reason, this area is in total blackout.  I managed to get a decent photo by using the flash.

Moltar, the extraordinary fortune telling mole.  Okaaaay.

Two of the prettier displays...

Essential reading with Anal Rider, but I'm unsure what the sunflowers signify.  Do you stick these up your jacksie as well?

Amongst other things, this cabinet contains an advert for A Danse Macabre, their Halloween event this year.

The jar to the left contains some kind of shellfish that looks like lady parts... 

This jar does contain a Victorian prostitute's preserved front bottom...

The Long And Lonely Nights I've Spent Since You First Left Home.  But are the tissues covered in tears- or semen, after masturbation?  I suspect the latter...

NOW, LET'S COME TO MY CELEBRITY SELECTION...

We'll start with condoms used by the Rolling Stones...

Along with the two (flat) blind mice is a box of Russell Brand's pubes...

Russell Crowe's piss...

...And my favourite- Madonna's panty liner.  How lovely!   I must be quite sick as I managed to eat my dinner whilst writing this blog!

Amy Winehouse's poo (which you can sniff, for an additional £5)...

 Kylie Minogue's poo...

I'll leave you with a photo of the bar area... 

...And a cabinet of masks.  Dean and I agreed that we'd return, but next time to sample their Absinthe cocktails.  I fear things could get messy after a couple of those!

TTFN

The Miss Elaineous

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THE SNOW ANGEL by LULU TAYLOR

THE SNOW ANGEL

BY LULU TAYLOR

THE BLURB:-

Cressida Fellbridge is living the high life as a debutante in 1960s London society when she is courted by a friend of her brother's and is set to marry. To mark the occasion, her father decrees that she must have her portrait painted. But as soon as Cressie meets the painter Ralph Few, she knows her life will never be the same again. She falls deeply in love with Ralph but he is still married to Catherine. As Cressie is drawn into a strange, triangular relationship, Catherine's behaviour becomes increasingly erratic, so Ralph and Cressie escape to Cressie's family home in Cumbria. But Catherine will not give up Ralph that easily...

In the present day, Emily Conway has everything she could wish for: a huge house, two beautiful children and a successful husband, Will. But as they drive to a party one night, Will reveals that he has been betrayed by his business partner. And then, in one shocking move, their perfect life together ends. When Emily wakes from her injuries, she is told of a mysterious legacy: a house in Cumbria, left to her by a woman she has never met. Could this be the chance to start anew? Or does this house have more secrets than answers?

THE REALITY:-

What a pleasure it was to read a good novel, after having to wade through two previous boring books. When I was typing the back blurb for this blog, I do believe I came to another of those 'did the person who wrote the blurb actually read the novel?' scenarios, as I don't recall Cressie's portrait being commissioned to make her engagement. Yes, she had a suitor but the relationship didn't appear to have gone that far. Sigh. I'm pretty sure this is my first foray into the work of Lulu Taylor, but it won't be the last. Yes, the book was too lacking in depth for it to become a bookcase fixture, but the story was a typical, nice page-turner. 'Pure indulgence and perfect reading for a dull January evening,' said one inside leaf review, and I get where they're coming from. I read this book approaching Christmastime, so could easily relate to the cold weather and the atmosphere of December House.

Both lifestyles and eras- the 1960s and present day- are brought to life throughout a very readable novel which contains a good mix of characters. Mental illness features in the shape of both Catherine and Tom, although I did question why the latter had to be in the story at all. Oh well, I suppose his lifestyle experiences added some interest- he just seemed superfluous to requirements. I've met men like Will before (and the women who covet them) and they almost always come up as lacking. There is more to life than money and status, you know. Sure, cold hard cash is important, but anything over the basics needed to live okay is an added bonus. He was another character who 'lost it', and I can sure as hell understand Emily wanting him dead. I'm glad she received another chance in the form of her most interesting legacy and I enjoyed reading how she solved the mystery surrounding (spoiler alert!) her aunt Cressie.

I had a (another spoiler alert!) spoiler of my own when the book accidentally fell open at a later page, telling me that Catherine Few was actually Ralph's sister. Oh well, I wasn't far behind anyway. It's hard to work out Catherine's motives but I think we can safely say that she was totally bonkers.  Maybe we are led to question how mental illness was treated fifty years ago compared to today? Possibly.

I'm glad both Emily and Cressie got happy endings and I'll certainly check out the work of William Orpen, the artist whom Ralph's work is based upon. A happy read.