ONE-HIT WONDER by LISA JEWELL

 ONE-HIT WONDER

BY LISA JEWELL

THE BLURB:-

Bee Bearhorn had a number-one-hit single in 1985- and was never heard of again. Fifteen years later she is found dead- and nobody seems to care.

Ana Wills has always dreamed about the exotic half-sister she hasn't seen for years. When she comes to London to clear her flat, Ana begins to unravel Bee's life: her missing cat, her secret country cottage and her mysterious weekends away.

So, instead of going back to Devon, Ana tracks down Bee's closest friends, mad Lol and strong, silent Flint, and together they set out to discover exactly what happened to Bee Bearhorn, the one-hit-wonder...

THE REALITY:-

A very pleasant, speedy read, I have to say! I felt I was right in there with the moment, as I remember the music scene of 1985/86 that Bee inhabits, and also the London and UK social culture of 2000, which Ana inhabits. This book was very easy to relate to and had some wonderful, well-rounded, oh-so-real characters, whose flaws came alive on the page like a punch in the face.

I love the way the author uses fashion to define characters; obvious with the likes of Bee and Lol (her nickname suits her- I adored this character, and found her laugh-out-loud funny!) but also subtly nuanced with Ana, the pretty girl with the perfect catwalk model's figure who thinks she's unattractive. Ana was, in fact, very easy to relate to, and I like that this is a novel that examines dysfunctional mother/ daughter relationships (something I can certainly relate to). It makes for a much more refreshing read than a novel where everything in that department is all sweetness and light and tickety-boo. This novel certainly had equal measures of light (in the form of humour) and dark, although it tended to veer towards the latter.

I did work out very early on that (spoiler alert!) Bee was the person responsible for Zander's paralysis, although I thought the author would have her injure him whilst on her motorbike in an inebriated state, which wasn't the case. I really, really feel for poor Bee, and I'm happy that this self-destructive woman was explained so carefully, and that she ended up with a good post-life celebration and a modicum of understanding from all who knew her. It's a happy ending kind of book (I suppose), but also sad as it's such a shame that Bee never found peace of mind. But then, was she meant to? This book certainly questions whether people's lives are preordained from birth.

I did like some of the add-on characters, such as Amy and even John, the cat, who acted as a kind of symbolism for loss in Bee's sad, unfulfilled life. Gregor worked as a real catalyst in the story and Hugh (I privately nicknamed him Gruesome Hughsome!) is someone I can personally relate to- I think we've all known men who think they're gorgeous and too good for you, when in reality they are not, and are pig ugly.

My favourite bit did have to be where Ana- who desperately needed to find herself- tried on some of Bee's fantastic wardrobe, as Bee sounds like she wore the same kind of quirky fashion that I do, and Ana- well, let's just say I hope this lovely character goes on to become a singer and model. An interesting study of relationships of the sisterly variety (and the family we create for ourselves- that of our friendships), I'd certainly recommend this book.

ROYAL BRIDES 1840-1981: A MAJESTY SPECIAL

 ROYAL BRIDES

1840-1981: A MAJESTY SPECIAL

THE BLURB

There was none.

THE REALITY

I first owned this book as a ten-year-old.  Fascinated by all things royal wedding in 1981 when Lady Diana Spencer married Prince Charles, my mum bought it for me as a present that year.

Featuring beautifully executed and elegant sketches of the wedding dresses of Queen Victoria, Princess Alexandra (later Queen Alexandra), Princess May (later Queen Mary), Lady Elizabeth Bowes-Lyon (Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother), Princess Elizabeth (now Queen Elizabeth) and Lady Diana Spencer (later the Princess of Wales and really, does she even need an introduction?) this is a joy not just for royalists, but also for fashionistas.  I've seen every single one of these dresses in exhibitions at Kensington Palace, and they don't disappoint in the flesh.

This dreamy crinoline really grabbed my attention as a little girl- it's Princess Alexandra, who married in 1863.

She had this dress altered so that she could wear it again, and here's my photo taken in Bath's Fashion Museum, where it was on temporary display in 2019.

As a kid I copied the drawings of all the dresses, starting with Lady Diana.

Here's the real thing, in Kensington Palace's exhibition in 2021.

One thing I will say is that this book- at just 14 pages long- only included the royal brides who went on to become Queen (yes, I know that doesn't apply to Diana) and it would have been nice to see sketches of the dresses of Princess Margaret and Princess Anne; amongst others.

And my favourite royal wedding dress?  It was Fergie's, which post-dated this book as her wedding happened in 1986.  I've blogged about my favourite royal wedding dresses before, and the link is here:-

http://elainerockett.blogspot.com/2021/06/the-best-royal-wedding-dresses-and.html

Editorially, this book is lacking.  I picked up on a typo straight away, a missing word further in and some very bad English.  It also looks like the person offering the descriptions seems to have sight problems.  The Queen Mother's dress did not have long sleeves.  And Princess Diana's dress did not feature a "gently curved neckline-" it was v-shaped.  More care could have been taken over this aspect of the book.  Also, dresses have backs as well as fronts, so that view (even if just a thumbnail sketch) would have been great.

A few years later I mentioned that I hadn't seen my Royal Brides book for a while and my mum kindly informed me she'd given it to a jumble sale some time previously.  I went ballistic!  Yes, by this time I might have been a fourteen-year-old punk, busy designing dresses made of rubber and mesh, but this was MY book and she had no right to do that- as I VERY clearly expressed to her.

So, forty years on, it was a delight to find my cherished book once again!

💗

THE MUSEUM OF BROKEN PROMISES by ELIZABETH BUCHAN

THE MUSEUM OF BROKEN PROMISES

BY

ELIZABETH BUCHAN

THE BLURB:-

Welcome to the Museum of Broken Promises, a place of wonder, sadness and... hope.

Inside lies a treasure trove of objects- a baby's shoe, a wedding veil, a railway ticket- all revealing moments of loss and betrayal. It's a place where people come to speak to ghosts of the past. The owner, Laure, is one of those people.

As a young woman in the 1980s Laure fled to Prague, where her life changed forever. Now, years later, she must confront the origins of her heart-breaking exhibition: a love affair with a dissident musician, a secret life behind the Iron Curtain, and a broken promise that she will never forget.

THE REALITY:-

It took me months, rather than weeks to get into this book. It was partially to do with what I had going on in my life- I tried to pick this up when I was living in a hotel room, due to severe damage having happened to my flat. It was such a stressful time as every single day I had something significant to deal with; so much so that I didn't seem able to concentrate at the end of a day, so could indulge in a bit of television but nothing too taxing. Then, when I returned home I had the big clean up to do. Then, other stresses happened, and I devoted my time to writing (with some success- I'm now five short stories down, and a previous one's been published!)

But... I couldn't get into this book until I was 150 pages in, which is too long. I didn't think the present day part of the novel characterisation was that strong, and didn't like the way the book jumped from past to present (although these were clearly labelled). I nearly put it down and discarded it. Which would have been a shame. As this book got very interesting as we moved on, and even brought me to tears at the end.

This was a great study of what life was like under the communist regime that governed Eastern Europe until the late 1980s. You pick up the inequality and the lies (although really, don't they exist with all governments? It's just with this particular set-up they seem glaringly obvious) and the Big-Brother-Is-Watching-You nature of life, what with goons following people and reporting on them. This should serve as a warning to those who oppose free speech (which I don't) as I've seen inklings of this existing in the UK. I like how the author has dug deeper into peoples hearts and put the characters into context. For instance, there's an older lady who doesn't oppose the hard left regime. Why? Because she remembers the hard right Nazi regime and has no wish to go back to those horrors.

This was certainly a book which made you think, and address how circumstances and surrounding people, and the subtle manipulation by others can cause you to behave in a way you though you never would. Here, we have the central figure Laure who (spoiler alert!) momentarily believes the untruths she's fed, and doesn't trust in her love, the guilt eating her up for most of her life. Which is why this book is soooo sad.

Kočka the cat- there are male and female versions in the different time frames acts as sweet symbolism for love and unhappiness, and the book made me want to visit the Museum of Communism in Prague! I also found the puppets and their messages heartfelt, and the way they served as symbolism for the fact that we are all puppets at some time or another, in one way or another. We just have to be aware of who's pulling the strings, and discard them if necessary.

But, most hauntingly of all are the final lines in the book, which represent a life ruined; a life without her true love, who she betrayed:-

Clack, I loved him.

Clack, he loved me.

I will keep this in my bookcase for a while (and will overlook the proofreading errors- I picked up on three; words added/ words missed out/ a good old-fashioned cock-up.)  

The Museum of Broken Promises. And broken hearts.

MISS ELAINEOUS VISITS DARLING DARLINGS CAT LOUNGE...

 During our recent trip to Great Yarmouth we popped into Darling Darlings Cat Lounge, on Marine Parade, for a cappuccino.

😻

The place is super-kitsch and opened in 2017; its mission to provide trained therapy cats, as it's known that spending time with our domestic feline friends is a great way to reduce stress and anxiety.  As cats of any kind are my favourite animal I just could not resist coming in here, and it didn't disappoint. 

Here is the till area...

The vintage/ retro decor has thingumajigs which span from the 1950s to the 1990s, and there are plenty of pussycat-themed items splashed around.

This photo was taken whilst me 'n' the SuperDean were seated at our table...

To the right of this photo is the main door, which is a locked grille, very wisely situated so that the pussies cannot run out onto the road and end up as flat cats.

That's what happened to our little ginger and white cat when I was a kid.  After that my mother refused to have another cat, as we lived on a main road and she didn't want the heartbreak again.

The back end, down by the kitchen is a 1980s time capsule lounge, playing fantastic songs from that area.  We only had our coffees and a sausage roll to eat, although the cakes on display did look tasty...

Dance Yourself Dizzy, a 1980 hit for Liquid Gold was thundering through the speakers as I passed through, en route to the human litter trays at the back.

It was one of my favourite records from that era and took me right back...😁

Leopard print abounded, and thankfully I wasn't wearing any on this day, otherwise the pussies might not have interacted with me!😉

I love, love, LOVE this chair!

*WANT*

I did keep referring to this place as The Pussy Lounge, which is something entirely different...😉

The oldest is Coconut, who is a British Blue of seven with lovely yellow amber eyes.  He is a tripod, having only three legs- one of his hind legs had to be amputated after it was caught in an illegal trap in someone's garden.

I have to say, I only saw him seated- he was Dean's favourite puss and, in true cat character, he was busy resting...

Funnily enough, Kim, the British Blue who lived next to us when I was a kid survived the main road (maybe because she was a large cat who didn't care to roam too far away from the fridge- at Christmas time she would meow at its door constantly, as she knew there was a turkey inside...😁)

The day we moved in my mum said, 'Oh look- they've got a lovely grey cat next door.'  Then she placed our open fish tank, with Cleo the goldfish on the ground, and we went away to collect more stuff from the old house.  When we came back the fish was nowhere to be seen, and Kim was sat atop her wall, licking her paws.  She was a hungry puss, who once caught a seagull!

Teddy, the beautiful green-eyed tabby is five and he was my favourite.  He has hydrocephalus and epilepsy, so is on medication for life.  He is also visually impaired.  Photography is allowed but not with a flash, as that can trigger seizures in both humans and animals alike.

Here he is, in his egg chair.  He did bother to wake up and give me some attention, but he snores when he's asleep (a bit like me...)

He- along with his siblings- was destined to be used as dog bait until he was rescued (I just don't get the mentality of some people...😒)

He was the first cat to be trained as a therapy cat, and has made visits to schools, care homes and private houses.

Stanley is the grey and white fur bundle between the white railings and is two-years-old, and his mum was feral.  He is quite a tiny cat and has a wheat and gluten allergy. 

He is in what, in cat terms, is his adolescent period.  He spent most of the time we were there just staring out at the food being prepared in the kitchen.  Another typical moggy!

Maverick and Ernie, the hairless pussies, are both Sphynx cats.  Their baldness is a naturally occurring genetic mutation and here (or should that be hair?!) they are, huddled on their favourite chair.

Ernie is the youngest, at ten months old, and here he is enjoying the cat run.  His breed is also known as the Canadian Hairless, and he's the more commonly known type of Sphynx...

Maverick is the Donskoy variation of a Sphynx (also knows as a Russian Hairless), and he's the white fella at the top.  On this day he wasn't as playful as his hairless mate.

Both cats were beautifully soft when you stroked them...💓

Cartoon cat plushies also live here, and Garfield is sitting behind the keyboard.  I think my favourite cartoon cat is probably Top Cat, although I reserve a special ball of love for Tom...

A duck and a pigeon at the Venetian Waterways, taken another day.  I love the way the azure dye in the water gives the place an authentic, elegant ambience...

 I have blogged about the regeneration of the waterways before.  This post shows them during 2018, as a work in progress:-

http://elainerockett.blogspot.com/2018/05/miss-elaineous-visits-venetian.html

The duck decided to pose for me...

A swan and a pen with the water in the background.  You can hire pedalos on this boating lake if you want.  We didn't- imagine paying to hire a boat and then having to pedal it yourself- on yer bike!  Give me something with an engine!

Swans mate for life.  This was the last day of our holiday and possibly the most relaxing.  We also took a carriage ride down the seafront 💓 (a first for me) and the weather was really nice.

Looking back whilst standing on the final (and I think highest) bridge on the way out.

I have included some details and photos of the redeveloped waterways here, in my largest Great Yarmouth blog:-

http://elainerockett.blogspot.com/2019/09/miss-elaineous-visits-great-yarmouth.html

I took this as photo of Vauxhall Bridge as we walked into town one day.  It's right near the railway station and dates back to 1850, being rebuilt in 1887.

Looking the other way, down the River Yare...

We stayed at Vauxhall Holiday Park for the first time.  It is beautifully tended, and here is the cute fountain which sits by the entrance gates.

We popped into the town centre (our holiday park was walking distance from the town centre, so therefore easily accessible for those like us who don't drive) one evening.  We had hoped to catch the illuminations, but were a tad too early.

You can make out some of the different colours going down the seafront, though...

On the way to Great Yarmouth we were lucky enough to end up on a train that took the Berney Arms route.  It is a request stop, and the train stopped long enough for me to take photos...

Berney Arms consists of a windmill and a pub.  The pub closed in 2015, and reopened in 2020 as a bistro...

Here's a cropped view.

The area is part of The Broads, and is close to Breydon Water...

The area is only accessible by foot, bike, rail or boat, and here's a different angle as we passed around it.

We have seen it before, when we visited Burgh Castle a few years back.  Here is my blog link:-

http://elainerockett.blogspot.com/2018/10/miss-elaineous-visits-burgh-castle.html

Great Yarmouth (and Darling Darlings Cat Lounge) I will return.

Until then...

Meow!

The Miss Elaineous

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😻

MISS ELAINEOUS VISITS MIDDLESBROUGH...

I recently visited Middlesbrough, North Yorkshire, for my much-delayed graduation ceremony, having gained an MA in Creative Writing with Teesside University as a distance learning student.  I hadn't been to Yorkshire since 1979 when I visited Butlin's Filey as a kid, so I was a tad excited.

 

On the way, high on the hill near Thirsk, is the Kilburn White Horse (I only realised this when I heard the guy sitting in the seat behind me mention it to his friend).  It is the white blob in the centre of the photo.

It is said to be the largest and most northerly hill figure in England, and is 318 feet (97m) long by 220 feet (67m) wide.  It was created in 1857, by exposing the underlying sandstone base and covering that with white limestone chips.

Here's a PDF of what it looks like when it's properly photographed...

The pleasant view from our hotel window.

This area was once well-known for its steel production, until that industry (and British manufacturing in general) began its sad decline in the 1980s.  Way in the distance you can see a chimney gushing out smoke.  There are still some factories, producing various goods, operating in the area.

The Riverside Stadium, the home of Middlesbrough FC, is visible in the centre of the photo.

The low afternoon light was really interesting in this part of the world- moody skies with shafts of brilliant late afternoon sun...

Look at the way the sun gives this reflective road sign a ghostly glow!

This resulted in this ethereal reflection on our hotel room ceiling.🌈

I love the iridescent rainbow colours.🌈

The view from outside the railway station, and at the end of the road veering off to the right of the building is Port Clarence, which is on the banks of the River Tees.

Looking north from the station, and this was a rather elegant part of the town.  From 1974-1996 the town was considered part of Cleveland, until that county was abolished.  You still see references to Cleveland across the town. 

The Albert Bridge was designed by William Peachey, North Eastern Railway's chief architect.  Apparently it has "N.E.R. 1874" inscribed somewhere on it, although I didn't see this.

It's not to be confused with the Royal Albert Bridge, which was designed by Isambard Kingdom Brunel, and which spans the River Tamar from Plymouth, Devon to Saltash, Cornwall.

On our initial walk to find out where my university is we came across this brilliant bottle sculpture.  It's by married couple Claes Oldenburg and Coosje van Bruggen and is called Bottle of Notes, and was unveiled in 1993.  The bottle is designed to slant; as if it had become stuck in the sand after a wave had struck it and receded.

It is crafted in steel, reflecting the area's rich steel production and fabrication heritage, and stands outside the Middlesbrough Institution of Modern Art (MIMA).

These crystal clear fountains are behind Middlesbrough Town Hall.

It's funny the way the mind can resurge memories- when standing by these and breathing in their chlorine smell, I couldn't help but be reminded of the lovely fountains which stood sentinel at both ends of the outdoor pool at Butlin's Filey.  It was 1979 when I visited there, and the holiday camp's long gone.  But its location was further down the coast in Yorkshire, so maybe it's that association which triggered my nostalgia...

The Middlesbrough Empire sits near the town hall, and is a theatre which opened in 1897.  It's also the official venue of Teesside University, which is very close by.

Middlesbrough Town Hall, and this version was opened in 1889.  Part of the building is given over to municipal functions and the other part is used as an entertainment venue.

Approaching the town hall from the town, and the building is lit up at night.  But the evening photo I took came out blurry (I may have been a tad tipsy, following celebrations...😉)

Street view, and this town has bid- and failed- twice to gain city status, but has applied again, to win this accolade as part of a competition to honour the Queen's Platinum Jubilee.  The results are to be announced in the Spring of 2022 (so, very soon.)  In the media it often refers to itself as a city anyway.  Good for Middlesbrough!

Appealing lit-up trees, and Middlesbrough was pretty good for illuminations.

This was only ever going to be a small blog, as we only stayed two nights, and it was essentially a business trip.

I thought the gloaming sun was causing the glow on this church, then I realised that it was an electric light.  This is what I mean by this town being quite considered when it comes to illuminations.

The frontage of this distinctive building is grade 2 listed.  Once the Masham Hotel, it is no longer a pub but is now used as exhibition space.

The Shakespeare pub has similar frontage, and looked very much closed down.

Teesside University was very near our hotel (Premier Inn, which I picked partly due to its great, central location). 

The campus is quite large and it looks like everything you need (library, student services, halls of residence, etc.) is on this site.

This honestly and truly had to be one of the best days of my life!💓

Striking a pose...💓

And another...💓

My last graduation ceremony was 25 years ago, but I no longer have any photographs of that day.

I have to say, the academic robes make me look the size of a house!💓

But so what?  I was ecstatically happy and so proud of myself on this very special day.💓

The lovely spiral staircase in The Resolution, the pub where we ate most of our meals.  It takes it name from the flagship of Captain James Cook (1728-1779) when he embarked on his voyage to the South Pacific; between July 1772 and July 1775.  Born in the area, he is Middlesbrough's most famous son and was an explorer, navigator and cartographer.   

The Pig Iron, where we had a couple of glasses of celebratory vino on the evening of my ceremony.  Reasonable prices, too.

Pig iron is also known as crude iron, and is an intermediate product of the smelting process.  The name comes from the shape of the moulds used for the ingots, which are cast in sand (I remember doing something like this using aluminium in metalwork at school.)  The way the channels of molten metal run into the branching moulds resembles a sow with her suckling piglets.

The Tees Transporter Bridge (which is also known as the Middlesbrough Transporter Bridge), taken from the train.  It is a suspended ferry which carries a carries a travelling car- or "gondola" across the River Tees.

Could I live in Middlesbrough?  Yes, I think so, although the climate (generally about 6°C colder than London) is a tad off-putting. 

Will I ever return to this area?  Oh yes!  I'm hoping to visit the holiday park which now stands on the site of the once-great-but-now-demolished Butlin's Filey.  It's further down on the coast.

Until then...

TTFN

The Miss Elaineous

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