THE LAKE HOUSE by KATE MORTON

THE LAKE HOUSE

BY KATE MORTON

THE BLURB:-

An abandoned house...

June 1933, and sixteen-year-old Alice Edevane is preparing for her family's Midsummer Eve party at their country home, Loenneth. But by the time midnight strikes and fireworks light up the night skies, the Edevane family will have suffered a loss so great that they leave Loenneth forever.

A missing child...

Seventy years later, after a particularly troubling case, Detective Sadie Sparrow retreats to her beloved grandfather's cottage in Cornwall. Once there, she stumbles upon an abandoned house, and learns the story of a baby boy who disappeared without a trace.

An unsolved mystery...

Meanwhile, in her elegant Hampstead home, the formidable Alice Edevane, now an old lady, leads a life as neatly plotted as the bestselling detective novels she writes. Until a young police detective starts asking questions about her family's past, seeking to resurrect the complex tangle of secrets Alice has spent her life trying to escape...

THE REALITY:-

The last novel I read was set in 1933, included a Midsummer Eve party and a heroine called Alice. This novel was set in 1933, included a Midsummer Eve party and a heroine called Alice. I'm not suggesting plagiarism (both of these novels were published in 2015) but the next book in my reading list also contains a heroine called Alice, although it is set further back in time.

Naughty, naughty me: I couldn't help but think of the Roy 'Chubby' Brown (love him, the fat bastard!) song; 'Alice, Who The Fuck Is Alice?' In the song, the inimitable Mr. Brown sings of living next door to Alice, at which point the chant comes up, “Alice? Who the fuck is Alice?” In Cape Town, many years ago, this song was played at a wedding I was attending. By this time in the evening everyone was well-oiled, and I got myself ready to sing the beautifully crude line. But, South Africans are much more restrained than us and sang, “Door? What's the number on the door?” Hmmm.

I'm sorry, me bad, me bad, me bad! I shouldn't be using profanity in relation to such a lovely book as this one- it defiles it, somehow. This is a true family saga that trips through different times but without confusing or jarring, as different generations of the family get their story told. Also, the key focal point of the story- a beautiful, historical house- is right up my street, what with its lake, boathouse, woods, nooks and crannies and a secret tunnel. By the way, the book references two secret tunnels but then only ever describes one. What's that all about? Don't mention something you're not going to elaborate on in a story, please. Note to self: if I don't go abroad this autumn then I'm definitely visiting Cornwall- it sounds enchanting.

Layer upon layer of writing adds up to a very thorough explanation of a tale that includes very likeable (and dislikeable- hello, Constance!) characters who are so real that you feel you are in the story with them. I've read every one of Kate Morton's tomes (I always love a tome) and found them fantastic and enthralling. Spoiler alert- I kind of guessed that Theo was alive and worked out where he was sent to, but I didn't see the Bertie connection coming. Coincidence is mentioned a lot in this book and is it a coincidence too far? Maybe, but it works, so I'll forgive the author.

I'm glad we got a happy ending and am also overjoyed that Sadie left the police force behind and set up her own private detecting agency. Regimented life is not for everyone and pursuing your gut instincts and 'not following instructions' can also be interpreted as 'using your initiative' and the latter is only to be applauded whilst the former strikes me as too unimaginative and not the best way to go about running a business or a police force. Rules are made to be broken and may the nonconformist always succeed!

Set time aside, on a hot summer's day, to chill out in the shade and read this brilliant novel. This will be another stayer in my collection, but how long for is anybody's guess. I do not have the space to set up a library in my flat and am not a hoarder by nature!

LEO WITH A VIRGO MOON...

And so, after checking out my Leo with Scorpio rising status, and finding it very accurate, I also checked out my Leo with a Virgo moon reading and found it... surprisingly accurate!

I don't know how these things work but I'm not a cynic and keep an open mind.

I especially related to the part that mentions, 'Your pen rather than the sword is your preferred weapon of choice.'  Oh yes.  And anyone who chooses to cross me will not forget it.  I use real life characters and experiences as the springboard in my writing... and, trust me, I'm often FAR from flattering.  You have been warned.  Mind you, some insecure people would be flattered that they're getting any attention at all, idiots that they are.  Remember, truth is always stranger than fiction!

Sun in Leo/Moon in Virgo Incorruptible

Sun in Leo/Moon in Virgo Incorruptible You have a contradictory mixture in your character. Your Leo Sun desires recognition, standing, and influence, but your Virgo Moon needs the security and steadiness of a less dangerous role. The position of leadership you feel you merit is held in the background by your reserved nature. Your need to help others must contend with your desire for admiration and attention. But, both sides of your character work together pleasantly for the most part. Although you are still able to voice your views and use your organizational abilities to control authority from behind the scenes, you may not be a vibrant manager or supervisor. An internal nature that is timid and somewhat restrained is hidden by the incisive, analytical, and exacting external show of direction and certitude. You look for power through mental activities instead of getting the authority and status you crave through real leadership. Your pen rather than the sword is your preferred weapon of choice. If you have an issue, there are occasions when you can be very critical, even egotistical, in your views and suppositions. Although you are inclined to be a little too frank in verbalizing your interpretations, you are usually amazingly correct with them. It is little wonder you so frequently alienate people. Virgo's emotional conservatism restrains you socially to an extent. However, you are charismatic, outgoing and friendly and want to be the life of the party. Maybe because of guilt about taking part too vigorously or permitting yourself too much pleasure, it is hard to completely let go of those inhibitions. Reporting and communications, in addition to endeavors that require mental depth and detailed analysis, are professionally good choices for this combination. An ordered and regimented framework is where you work the best. Living up to the stiff requirements of a Leo ego can make you overwork; you direct a lot of your Leo passion and interest into your occupation. You will find a way to lead others even if it is out-producing them. You may push yourself too hard because you are a perfectionist. You will slip into states of too much criticism, agitation, and severe nervousness if you are too hard on yourself. You may aim your aggravation at friends and associates. Inspire those around you instead using your stiff ethical code. 

THE GIRL IN THE PHOTOGRAPH by KATE RIORDAN

THE GIRL IN THE PHOTOGRAPH

BY KATE RIORDAN

THE BLURB:-

When Alice Eveleigh arrives at Fiercombe Manor during the long, languid summer of 1933, she finds a house steeped in mystery and brimming with secrets. Sadness permeates its empty rooms and the isolated valley seems crowded with ghosts- none more alluring than Elizabeth Stanton, whose only trace remains in a few tantalizingly blurred photographs. Why will no one speak of her? What happened a generation ago to make her vanish?

As the sun beats down relentlessly, Alice becomes ever more determined to unearth the truth about the girl in the photograph- and stop her own life from becoming an eerie echo of Elizabeth's...

THE REALITY:-

I did wonder why exactly this novel was named The Girl In The Photograph, as photographs are not mentioned until way into the novel and then, which girl is the novelist referring to- Elizabeth? Isabel? I'm inclined to agree with the cynical reviewer on Amazon who though that the title was something else, until the writer decided to (hopefully) cash in, having noted the recent success of other books with “girl” in the title.

Sarcasm aside, this was another novel that I found almost impossible to put down. I may even keep it in my collection for a while, as opposed to dumping it into the charity shop bag! The concept of a novel set in two different time frames, with the lives of both of the heroines echoing each other is not a new concept and, if executed well, can make for an enthralling story. Indeed, my second (not yet written) novel, entitled “Lydia Darling,” is such a book, with common themes appearing in both Lydia's and Lysette's biographies.

This book has been described as having shades of Rebecca and, to me, it also has shades of Jane Eyre and the mad woman in the attic syndrome. With a crumbling old house, secluded from society and with an atmosphere of foreboding in its extensional grounds, and another mansion that has since disappeared, this offering was right up my street! Puerperal insanity (what we, nowadays, call postnatal depression) was a big theme throughout this book and I found the sections detailing it extremely interesting- maybe for personal reasons. My paternal grandmother was institutionalized for exactly the same malady, from just after the birth of her fifth (fourth living) child until her death, some fifty years later. My father didn't know her as she went away, firstly, when he was three and then for good when he was eight. He would never discuss it (as was the way in those days) and she was more or less obliterated from my family's history, poor woman. All I'm going to say is that she must have been in a pretty bad way to stay away for so long- that or my grandfather desperately wanted her out of the way. I will do my research and find out as I feel for this poor lady.

Alice had a tricky relationship with her mother.  It seems that her physical needs were taken care of- she was fed, clothed and had a roof over her head, but her emotional requirements were neglected.  Now, that is something I can definitely relate to.  The post-Victorian and pre-modern generations were, quite simply, weird.  It would appear that many of this number thought that you simply produced children, plonked them down in the corner and, hey presto! they grow up all okay.  Sadly, it doesn't quite work like that.

All of the characters were interesting, both in Alice's and Elizabeth's time frame and the story certainly didn't plod. I've never been to the Cotswolds, so it was very informative to learn a bit about that part of the country as the book really brought it to life. Spoiler alert... I'm glad Alice got a happy ending and didn't have to give up her baby. It's exactly the ending I would have written for her. But, the demise of Elizabeth and Isabel seemed a bit of a cop out. I would have liked both of them to have been hunted for and found, alive and well. Oh well, if I'm not writing it then I suppose it's never going to be 100% perfect! An excellent and gripping read.

MISS ELAINEOUS VISITS THE FAN MUSEUM...

I made yet another trip to Greenwich- this time to visit the venerated Fan Museum.  I have been before after reading about it on a list entitled 'London's Hidden Gems' but had never had afternoon tea here, so I thought I'd take my SuperDean for a little civilized treat.

The Japanese style garden is truly beautiful and the parterres are set out in a fan shape.  The last time I was here you could wander into it but this is no longer allowed- something to do with the neighbours complaining.  Why, I cannot fathom.  The museum is only open during the daytime, and that includes private events, so it's not as if late night wild parties occur on its grounds.

The beautiful garden.

Upstairs, a lady working at the museum kindly let me use her office to take this photo overlooking the garden.  She suggested I write a letter to Greenwich council complaining about the garden ban, and I might just do that!

The stunning Orangery with Dean in the corner, facing the mirrored doors.  The garden doors are to his left.  We had the place to ourselves.

View of the entrance door from our seats.

Looking towards the side.  Apparently, the lady who painted The Orangery's continual mural did so in forty days.  I offered up my services if the paintings ever need retouching- I did, after all, study art and design before I studied fashion.

The lovely ceiling.

The detail in this room is amazing and a lot of care has been taken over it.  Here we have a butterfly resting on the fancy light.

And here's a model of a fan and an orange tree.

And now we get to our lovely tea, which was real value for money at £8 per person.  I'm going to visit the Princess Diana exhibition in Kensington Palace in the summer and will pop into their orangery, but just for a cuppa- their afternoon tea is a pricy £27.50 each, but you kind of expect that from such a venue.  Also, at KP, if you want to have a 125ml glass of champagne with your tea that's another tenner added on, setting you back £37.50 in total.  O-k-a-a-a-a-y...  They can stick that where the sun doesn't shine and I'll stay faithful to The Fan Museum!

The steps outside had these wrought iron railings in the shape of fans- I got my camera out and said, 'Ooh, let me take a picture- here are some more fanny bits...'  Perhaps I could have chosen my words with more care!

The museum consists of a one room fixed exhibition on the ground floor and a two room changeable exhibition space on the second floor, so it's small- but perfectly formed.  Here's my favourite of their Biblical Fans collection, depicting Jacob's Ladder.  I kept referring to it as, 'The Stairway To Heaven,' which is some misnomer.  Then I couldn't remember that it was Led Zeppelin who sang that song- and I call myself a rock chick.  I should be ashamed of myself! 

It's a little known fact that I once made a fan for my introductory project at The London College Of Fashion.  I had to look at the work of a Japanese erotic artist and make a report.  They didn't like it- they said all they wanted was an A4 black and white document with a couple of photocopies, rather than the creative, colourful piece of artwork that I had put together.  The boring, idiot gits.  That experience is recreated for the character Elizabeth in my first novel, entitled 'The Reject's Club.'  

The ladies' toilet is also acclaimed and has won awards.  Here's a photo of me in said toilet...  These are two similar but interesting selfies...

Note to self; wear another top- just lately, whenever I'm being photographed I seem to be wearing the same pink top and cardi...

Here's the toilet wallpaper.

The attention to detail throughout this museum is immense.  Look at this cute fan soap in a pretty fan soap dish...

This was a lovely day but the third time I've been to Greenwich in as many weeks, so that's me all Greenwich'd out for the time being.

XXXXXXXX

THE GIRL ON THE TRAIN by PAULA HAWKINS

THE GIRL ON THE TRAIN

BY PAULA HAWKINS

THE BLURB:-

Rachel catches the same commuter train every morning. She knows it will wait at the same signal each time, overlooking a row of back gardens.

She's even started to feel like she knows the people who live in one of the houses. Their life- as she sees it- is perfect. If only Rachel could be that happy.

And then she sees something shocking, and in one moment everything changes.

Now Rachel has a chance to become a part of the lives she's only watched from afar.

Now they'll see: she's much more than just the girl on the train...

THE REALITY:-

OMG! Wow! Christ on a bike and Christ on a cracker! This was some novel! I started reading it on the Thursday afternoon and had ploughed my way through 408 pages by Sunday morning, and the days in-between included working and a day out in Greenwich. This novel was extremely unputdownable and I raced through it in search of the conclusion. And, let me tell you, the perpetrator is not obvious until right at the end of the novel and the twists and turns as you frustratingly hope for Rachel to unlock the secrets of her mind not predictable in the least.

The character of Rachel is very sad. She is an alcoholic and is firmly in the grips of the disease. She's more than just a drinker (and, believe me, the analysis of this character made me question my own drinking habits) and has sank into a state where she's totally out of control and has really lost the plot. During the course of the novel, she has to reach back inside her head and gradually the pieces come together to form a startling discovery. But, throughout this journey, you want to reach in and shake her into getting herself some help- AA would be a good start. I do question how someone could allow a man to destroy them that much. We've all been hurt, but my motto- probably the best thing my parents ever taught me- has always been, 'Pick yourself up, dust yourself down, and start all over again.' That and, 'The best way to get over someone is to get under someone...' And for the latter to be possible you need to have retained some modicum of dignity.  The fact that she can't get pregnant by her husband doesn't mean that she can't get pregnant by another man.  I've always thought it blindingly obvious that some couple combinations are more compatible when it comes to conception (excuse the alliteration!)  But to find that out, Rachel needs to renew her hope and get out there and... well, having bloody sex would be a great start! C'mon now! 

Such a simple tale, in theory- that of someone witnessing something from a train that usurps everything they've been believing in their mind but, in this case, one extremely well played out. There are some highly interesting characters in this book and you learn- if you didn't know already- that not everything really is at it seems. And that's all I'm going to tell you. I'm not going to be dishing out spoiler alerts as this is one book you HAVE to read.

A winner- I don't think even I have read a novel this quickly before!

TWO SEX BOOKS REVIEWED TOGETHER...

I'm reviewing these two books together...keep reading and all will become clear...

THE INS AND OUTS OF BECOMING A PHONE SEX OPERATOR

BY ELAINE SHUEL

THE BLURB:-

Are you considering becoming a phone sex operator? There are things you need to think about before you make up your mind. As an experienced PSO with many years of phone sex experience, I'll give you some sound advice to see if you're suited to this very intimate line of work.

Topics discussed include: Working For An Employer, Independent Contractor, Accent Or No Accent? And much more.

THE REALITY:-

A strange little book as it was only 22 pages long and had written in the flyleaf:- This book may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. Nice try but, unfortunately, it's not something the author can control or police, is it?!

A quick read and more suited to the American market but this little book definitely did what it said on the tin and gave me an insight into this kind of work, albeit a slightly cynical one.

HOW TO TALK DIRTY

BY JENNY AINSLIE-TURNER

THE BLURB:-

A hands on guide to phone sex is about me and what I do for a living. I'm a 1-2-1 chat girl. However, I am not just any chat girl; the sex line is my own company and I am all the girls my boys ever chat to (although most don't realize that I play all the characters) from ages 16-73... and also I'm Dee Dee the receptionist!

I'm the only woman to ever have done this, so as you can imagine it isn't like any ordinary premium-rate sex chat line. On the contrary, it's just like me- quite extraordinary. My calls are not recorded and therefore I am not governed by ICSIS and as such, on my line anything goes (and it usually does.) I cover the bizarre, the outrageous and the shocking. This has never been done before in as much as it blows wide open the reality of phone sex- plus, I still actually do it for a living. In these pages you will discover what men really want to talk about and what really turns a man on!

It's funny, unbelievable, but never boring. It's a book that men, in particular, will find fascinating and arousing- and the ladies will find intriguing...

THE REALITY:-

Yep, this book was certainly never boring! You had to get past the (sometimes) bad English, but I was laughing out loud at some of the fantasies this lady has to deal with at the other end of the phone and I also found the book informative with regards to the business of becoming a phone sex operator; such as working for a premium rate line or being part of a call-back service, etc.

Why did I read these two books? Because this is what I'm thinking about doing as my “back-up” job as I try and sort out some sort of career in writing. For too long now, I have been underemployed and working in retail when I trained as a fashion designer. Nowadays, there are very few available jobs in the latter role, so I have diversified my creativity into the medium of the written word. But I am still working in a job that's way, way, WAY beneath me, for a company that's downright weird.  You do question how some people at management level (from store through to area and as high up as CEO) even have a job, never mind how they got their promotions.  Well, I bet their husbands and partners use phone sex lines, hehehehehe!

Fashion has always been a bit too female-heavy for me. I'm a real 'man's girl' and not girly-wirly and have always felt like a bit of a square peg in a round hole in the fashion industry.  I have a naturally foul mouth and find swearing and crudity funny, as opposed to offensive.  I also don't think sex is necessarily something to get too precious over.  Sure, it can be the ultimate connection between a man and a woman- or it can be a just a great/basic shag (delete as appropriate!) or the need to shoot one's load.  I bought both of these books when Channel 4 showed the documentary, 'My Phone Sex Secrets' (which features the author of this book) a few years back.   My friends told me I'd make a great PSO, especially within the field of domination, and to leave the “retail rubbish” behind.  But I got sidetracked.  At the time, I had three promising fashion design interviews, so the books got put to one side (but, tellingly, never thrown out) and I forgot about them.  And I didn't get any of the jobs I went for.

Channel 4 recently showed the program again, fuelling my interest once more.  And so now, I really have to move on from my very crappy situation and for self-motivated me, working from home exercising my mucky mouth on a daily basis, away from gossipy, judgemental, petty, sad fashion cows, might just be the answer to my problem. Watch this space!

STAR SIGN MAKE-UP...

I love the "My Sign" eyeshadow sets in Superdrug but I didn't like the colour wheel selections for my star sign.

I'm a Leo but I opted for the Scorpio shade set as they're all shades I will use on my eyelids, including my favourite purple.

Mind you, I'm a Leo with Scorpio rising, so maybe it's semi-appropriate.  I looked up the analysis for the combination of my star and rising signs and this is what it said- I found it very, very accurate!!

Leo sign with Scorpio rising

Leo is charming on his/her own, but mix in Scorpio and they become a Chick or Man magnet.

If you are involved with a Leo/Scorpio, they may believe that between the two of you, they're the Star or the Diva and you aren't.

They're in charge and you aren't. Even, if you don't agree, when it comes to things you can take or leave, humour them; in other words, choose your battles.

Both Leo and Scorpio have power. Leo and Scorpio also like to use that force to control people and things.

Scorpio gives Leo a seriousness that other Leos won't have. This person likes to be in control and is serious about that. This one could use some toning down.

Scorpios like their privacy; Leos like to show off.

This combo gives you a "Look at me, yes please do," One minute and a "What are you looking at?", the next.

Combing their Leo sign with a Scorpio rising makes this person extra passionate, extra aggressive and extra self-confident; all that wrapped with a ribbon of impatience.

This Leo/Scorpio rising likes to take immediate action.

A Leo/Scorpio will get the most trouble from their penchant to manipulate others; though they may deny said, manipulation.

Leo/Scorpio will have problems when they are closed-minded and exacting with others.

With a Leo/Scorpio rising, issues are either black or white, yes or no... There can be no; ifs and(s), but(s) or grey- in between(s).

Leo/Scorpio rising is so forceful in seeking the truth that they seem to go to extremes. It's not what they mean to do at all, they just want the truth and no colouring of the truth.

So, take this as a warning, if you betray a Leo/Scorpio be careful, they will come after you with all they've got.

A Leo/Scorpio rising will need to be prudent when selecting a lover/romantic partner, if not, troubles won't be far along.

Scorpio rising will accentuate Leo's audacity and need to be in charge. This Leo won't be intimidated and won't abide any person or situation that tries to obstruct and control them.

If Leo/Scorpio becomes disdainful with others or acts conceited because of their place of leadership, they may find the support (that got them there), suddenly turns on them.