BOHEMIAN SEXPOT HATES SHOPPING!!!!

I am not a normal woman.....why, you might ask?

I HATE SHOPPING!  How anyone can enjoy endless schlepping around overheated stores, surrounded by crowds and noise is beyond me.

Funnily enough, I never minded shopping for work- as a designer it's important to keep up to date with what's coming in and what's going out (and yes, what to rip off!)  I could never shop as a hobby, as it would be too much like a busman's holiday for me. 

When I have to, I shop like a bloke.  I go at 10am on a Monday morning when the shops are dead, go in, get what I want then go home.  I'm not one of those stupid women who has to look at, and touch, EVERYTHING. 

I do, however, enjoy boho markets selling unusual and off-beat items.  I also love the treasure troves that are antique and junk shops.  There has to be an element of surprise to arouse my interest.

Here are a couple of bags for you to feast your eyes on:

 This was from the Monsoon sale.  I don't usually use bags this size, and don't really have a use for it (I suppose it could be used to store make-up, as a holiday toiletry bag or even as a pencil/ art case) but at £4.50 I will find a use for it!

I bought this at Las Vegas airport AEONS ago and hardly ever use it.  I love the plastic links that make up the bag, though.  It's almost like a chainmail effect.

This one cost me a fiver, from a here-today-gone-tomorrow shop in Ilford.  Comments range from, "I had something like that when I was five" and "That looks like something Barbie would use."  But I don't care because I like it!  If other people think I'm tacky, that's their problem. 

Years ago, I owned a similar bag to this and had a lovely pair of matching stiletto strappy sandals (the men complimented me on them even if the women didn't- they were very Strictly Come Dancing!)

At a party, I was wearing the shoes and bag and a group of women chose to take the piss out of me.  One turned to the other, sneered and said, "Oh my God!  She's even got a pink mobile phone!" (I still have!)

I took a good look at them, dressed in jeans and beige, with flat shoes and dull brown handbags and thought, "You walk around dressed like THAT, yet take the piss out of me?"

They were bland enough to blend in with the wallpaper.  If you are also a bohemian sexpot (and all the best people are) follow me on Facebook...

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=621751133

STRAPLESS AND STRAPPY DRESSES...

This is what I wore when I went away recently...

This is one of my best loved dresses.  It's from Quiz Clothing (my favourite fashion shop) and was a present.  I love the dippy hem, train effect.

This is another of my Quiz dresses, bought in the sale for (I think) £15....might have been £25, I can't remember.  The lining was very short and made of cheap, knitted nylon, so I added a deep, black lace frill (cut off an obsolete River Island skirt) to make it look better. 

This is from Dorothy Perkins' Izabel London range, which is always worth looking at.  A snip in the sale, at £10, it is not worth the £40 it was originally priced at- the skirt fabric is a cheap nylon.  But it looks okay on, and that's the main thing.

I do like strapless and spaghetti strap dresses as I'm quite big built and find thick straps make my shoulders look heavy, as do cap sleeves.  I've also got an impressive cleavage, so like to show it off!  I prefer dresses that don't have to be pulled on over the head, as I have big hair and like it to stay that way.  I also go for things that are easy to get on and off- I don't have servants, and can't be doing with fiddle-farting around getting dressed or undressed.

I might have studied fashion, but I have my own individual style, and do not follow trends slavishly.  THE LADY IS NOT FOR TURNING!

I actually studied fashion because I HATED what was in the shops, not loved it, and thought I could make a difference.  But my college course did tend to push me towards copying, and I'm as surprised as anyone that I went on to work as a commercial designer!

MULTICOLOURED DAY SANDALS

These are my summer day shoes.  With a wedge heel that's two and a half inches high, some might say they're not particularly practical.  But this is a low heel for me, and I find them very comfortable.  They were a present from Shoezone, are a couple of years old now, and I love 'em!

I couldn't be bothered to take them off (or, for that matter, roll up my trousers) when I had a walk on the beach the other day.  So they stayed on, and here's the evidence.

My partner dragged me, kicking and screaming, to Great Yarmouth three years ago.  It's his thing- he's holidayed there since he was a kid.

I was brought up in King's Lynn and have an aversion to the place (although it's more the small town, small minded mentality that offends me rather than the town, per se).  For that reason, I was not overly thrilled with the idea of stepping into Norfolk.

But I found Great Yarmouth more than alright, and have returned (willingly!) a few times since.  Here are my high(ish) heeled footprints....

PRINCESS DAISY by JUDITH KRANTZ

PRINCESS DAISY

BY JUDITH KRANTZ

THE BLURB:-

She was born Princess Marguerite Alexandrovna Valensky. She was a blonde beauty living in a world of aristocrats and countless wealth. Her father was a prince, a Russian nobleman. Her mother was an American movie goddess. Men desired her. Women envied her. Daisy's life was a fairytale filled with parties and balls, priceless jewels, money and love. Then suddenly, the fairytale ended. And Princess Daisy had to start again, with nothing. Except the secret she guarded from the day she was born.

THE REALITY:-

It a long time since I read a blockbuster! I saw “A Woman of Substance” on TV in the early eighties, found it incredibly moving, and subsequently bought the novel. Ditto “The Thorn Birds” and “Lace”, but somehow Princess Daisy- a contemporary- kind of passed me by. I remember adverts for the mini-series as it starred Rupert Everett, who became a favourite of mine, but that's about it.

This book certainly delivered! It has it all; beautiful people, glamorous locations, passion, sex, obsession and jealousy, and also a classic riches-to-rags-then-back-to-riches storyline.

The apparent secret of Daisy having a mentally handicapped, institutionalized identical twin was not particularly hidden, but I found the concept original and touching. The characters were all well-rounded, human and believable, and the research into detail was exquisite.

I did, however, find that the novel got less interesting as it went on, the historical sections at the beginning being more of a fulfilling read. The exposure of Daisy's secret was predictable, and the demise of Ram Valensky was simply a cop out.

This book reeked of the late seventies/ early eighties, and seem a typical write from that time. I would, however, highly recommend it. The character of Daisy is human and very likeable and it sold many copies for a reason. This certainly had me rushing to turn the pages. 

I don't think I'm going to be reading or reviewing so many books for a while.  I need to press on with my next novel, and spend my spare time writing.

MANDARA SPA AMBER HEAVEN

I bought this delightful little set of smellies to put in my washbag, as they are a handy size for travelling.

The smell reminded me of the classic perfume Shalimar, by Guerlain.  

Absolutely gorgeous!

HAIR CORSAGES AND WILLY HOOP-LA

I like to pin a bow or a corsage in my hair, I'm a very decorative creature!

These little pretties were found at Martyn's Walk Around Store in Great Yarmouth.  It's an interesting place- it sells a cornucopia of goods, from wallets, costume jewellery and ornaments to quite well-made stuffed animals and novelty, jokey gifts.

They had a game which was called Willy Hoop-la, consisting of a set of rings you have to throw over a (quite wide...ouch!) fake penis.  I find a set of my bangles and the real thing much more fun...  

BAGS OF FUN!

I'm not as obsessed with bags as I am about shoes, but I just had to share this lovely ombre effect, glistening changeant delight with you.  Bought on a recent trip to Great Yarmouth, for only £12, this is a real find and will soon become my next day bag.

This is my current day bag- animal print, purple (my favourite colour) and with a bit of bling, this ticks all the right boxes.  And it only cost me £15, off ebay.

I have a friend who always tries to persuade me to buy an expensive bag, one which lasts.  She then sticks her £80 brown leather number, that she's had for nearly ten years, under my nose.

Well, I don't want a bag that lasts!  I like a bit of variety with my fashion, and the time my bag starts to fall to pieces (tends to be around six months) coincides with the time I'm getting bored with it anyway.  Plus brown is not a very exciting colour, and a sensible leather bag is just...BORING! 

A girl I worked with showed me her equally boring brown Prada bag.  Okay, so it was Prada, but it cost 300 or 400 quid plus, I can't remember which.  My comment?  "They saw you coming!!!!"

A MODEL LIFE by MURIEL RODRIGUEZ

A MODEL LIFE

BY MURIEL RODRIGUEZ

THE BLURB:-

Whilst recovering from a canoeing accident in the South of France, and with a promising professional swimming career in tatters, 17 year-old Marion sees an advert that will change her life: Icon models are holding a contest.

She enters, gets whipped into shape by militant stylists, cross-dressing walking experts and chain-smoking make-up artists, and manages to win a modelling contract. But when she arrives in Paris to begin modelling, her glamorous ideas are quickly dispelled. She becomes indebted to the agency and struggles to get her first break.

Based on true events, A Model Life follows Marion's career as she climbs up the modelling food-chain, from dealing with pervy photographers in Paris to trudging through snow to casting in New York, from Armani to Playboy, Marion has seen it all.

This book is a must for anyone who wants to know what modelling is really like...

THE REALITY:-

Either badly written, badly edited, badly translated or a combination of all three, this book frequently lacked proper punctuation, had misspellings, malapropisms and words that ran into one another.

I bought this purely for research purposes- in my next novel (which has the working title of “Lydia Darling”) I intend to make two main characters models.

The novel did what it said on the tin- it gave me an interesting insight into the world of modelling, with some fun characters that made me laugh, purely because of their ridiculousness! The storyline was nothing special, and I was glad that, at 287 pages long, this was a short read. Avoid if reading for pleasure!

A SONG ONCE HEARD by ANNE GORING

A SONG ONCE HEARD

BY ANNE GORING

THE BLURB:-

When rich, handsome Daniel Penhale proposes to Sophy Beardmore, she is swift to accept. The marriage seems to offer the security and respectability she has always dreamed of in a life overshadowed by her mother's feckless, radical way of living.

But Daniel's wealth has not made Kildower, his Cornish house, a happy place. It is haunted by old memories, not least those of his first wife. Meraud. No one seems to know the true facts about her death, though rumours and suspicions abound, fostered by the tragic legends that cling to Kildower.

Daniel's young daughter, Kensa, is resentful and sullen, her nurse, Jess Southcote, is sly and manipulative, the local people hostile. Then there is Meraud's brother Conan, who seems determined to strike up a friendship with Sophy, but out of what dubious motives?

Only when Sophy has unravelled the truth about the past and faced up to her true feelings for both Conan and Daniel himself can she find the happiness she seeks.

THE REALITY:-

I picked this up in a charity shop and then had to question why- a saga set in 1830s Cornwall would surely contain moral characters, set in moral times and be quite...boring? Wouldn't it? A bit like one of those light, bright and trite “heart-warming” women's magazine serials?

Thankfully, no. This wasn't the case at all. The leading lady, Sophy, comes from a dissipate background with a hedonistic mother, and it is this life she is trying to move away from, and claim her own identity. This book contained many little stories within it, and you find yourself rooting for our heroine, as you just know that she's a fundamentally good person (as opposed to some of the forces she is up against).

I was so grateful that the blurb did not contain comparisons to “Rebecca”, as so many West Country novels, set in big rambling houses where the husband has issues with his former wife do, as this book is nothing like it.

I enjoyed the real, gritty element of all the people I met in this book (especially Captain Penhale), the supernatural and rustic element of suspected ghosts and shrines to the gods and I certainly picked up on the latent passion between Sophy and both Daniel and Con.

With an unusual ending, this novel was a real eye-opener, and I would definitely read books by this author again.   

THE OBSERVATIONS by JANE HARRIS

THE OBSERVATIONS

BY JANE HARRIS

THE BLURB:-

Scotland, 1863. In an attempt to escape her past, Bessy Buckley takes a job working as a maid in a big country house. But when Arabella, her beautiful mistress, asks her to undertake a series of bizarre tasks, Bessy begins to realise that she hasn't quite landed on her feet. In one of the most acclaimed debuts of recent years, Jane Harris has created a heroine who will make you laugh and cry as she narrates this unforgettable story about secrets and suspicions and the redemptive power of love and friendship.

THE REALITY:-

Not many books have me laughing out loud only a few pages in, and then throughout the novel, but this is one of them!

Written in the first person, through the slang-afflicted and razor-sharp tongue of Bessy Buckley, it is unique in its use of the English language. A true lesson in bawd, this novel would suit anyone with a lavatorial sense of humour; such delights as the contents of chamber pots, sniffing the devil's bum, catching farts and keeping someone's motions as a personal keepsake are all mentioned!

The ghostly setting of the farm house, and the village, are brought magically to life and the plot has enough interest and twists and turns to hold your interest. It is the characters and their foibles and shortcomings which make this novel a thoroughly good read, though.

If you are easily offended and of a delicate disposition (and more fool you for being so), and don't like talk of bums, willies, fannies and turds, then perhaps this book isn't for you. But if you like a good romp that will keep you awake at night (like the double entendre?!) then read on!

This was a brilliant debut novel, and has the honour of being a stayer in my book cabinet.

KILLER RAVEL HEELS EQUALS ZERO COMFORT!

I bought these shoes from Ravel (who no longer exist) for £25, reduced from £50.  I never thought much to the fit of Ravel's shoes- they were always lacking in depth rather than width, and were designed for people with feet that have been run over by a steam roller!

I'm technically speaking a five and a half, but generally buy a six for the width.  I've only worn these a couple of times as the heel placement is just a little too far back and it kinda throws me off balance a bit.

Still, I shall persevere!

THE UNSEEN by KATHERINE WEBB

THE UNSEEN

BY KATHERINE WEBB

THE BLURB:-

When a free-spirited young woman arrives in a sleepy Berkshire village to work in the household of the Reverend and Mrs. Canning, she sets in motion a chain of events which changes all their lives. For Cat has a past- a past her new mistress is willing to overlook but will never understand...

This is not all Hester Canning has to cope with. When her husband invites a young man into their home, he brings with him a dangerous obsession.

During the long, oppressive summer, the rectory becomes charged with ambition, love and jealousy- with the most devastating consequences.

THE REALITY:-

This is another writer who uses a person coming out of a broken relationship, and who is free to love again, as a basis for romance (on the modern side of the story).

I like the way the historical sections of storytelling are written in the present tense, as it adds originality and helps with the flow of things.

The letters bind all aspects of the story together, and it's a novel that makes you stop and think, as we always know more about the past situations than the present day characters.

This is an unusual and interesting tale, using faked fairy sightings in a wholly different way.  The bucolic setting adds a sense of calm, and Hester's innocence regarding the marital bed, with references to rutting stallions, (as relayed through her letters to her sister) made me scream with laughter!

But it is the feisty character of Cat, with her of lack of respect and disregard for her “betters” and her desperate need for change, that is truly empowering. She is the true heroine of the story.  I totally loved this young woman, and was rooting for her all the way!  Also, the historical suffragette referencing really brings her prison experience to ghastly real life.

With its twists and turns (and murder!) mixed with modern day musings such as euthanasia and having sex with step-siblings, this novel is a magnificent pleasure to read, and truly original.

CHANNELING MY INNER CRUELLA DE VIL

I couldn't resist these charity shop delights, found in Eastbourne.  They are very witchy, aren't they?

I enjoyed Eastbourne, even though we were there whilst the south coast was being lashed by some of the worst storms in years.

Here's a moody photo of the pier, taken from the nice, cosy confines of my hotel room...

NEW LOOK MULTICOLOURED SHOES...

I bought these snazzy little numbers from New Look a few years back, to celebrate getting a new job.

Well, the job didn't last long and I've never worn the shoes- maybe because they are just too goddamn tight!

I do love them though, so will perhaps invest in some shoe stretching spray and try and break them in around the house... 

MICHAEL KORS KINKY SHOES...

I bought these Michael Kors shoes in New York a few years ago, but have never actually worn them out of the house (read into that what you will, you dirty minded buggers!) 

I think they cost the equivalent of £40, if my memory serves me correctly, from the Lord Taylor sale.  The exchange rate was very much in our favour at the time. 

They are almost fetishist, aren't they?

I LOVE JIMMY CHOOS....

My ex-boyfriend found these Jimmy Choos in a charity shop in Dublin for 8 Euros....Yes, you read it correctly, 8 EUROS!!!!  Some people have no idea what they're giving away.

It's a little known fact that, many moons ago, my feet appeared in a foot fetish magazine and on a foot fetish website (don't ask!)

There is a character in my first novel, "The Reject's Club", who is a foot fetishist....read it and see for yourself....

You can buy The Reject's Club from Amazon, via this link:-

http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Rejects-Club-Elaine-Rockett-ebook/dp/B00DQDBMZ0/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1394198298&sr=8-1&keywords=rejects+club

A PLACE OF SECRETS by RACHEL HORE

A PLACE OF SECRETS

BY RACHEL HORE

THE BLURB:-

Can dreams be passed down through families? As a child Jude suffered a recurring nightmare: running through a dark forest crying for her mother. Now her six year old niece, Summer, is having the same dream, and Jude is frightened for her.

A successful auctioneer, Jude is struggling to come to terms with the death of her husband. When she is asked to value a collection of scientific instruments and manuscripts belonging to Anthony Wickham, a lonely 18^th century astronomer, she leaps at the chance to escape London, for the untamed beauty of Norfolk, where she grew up.

As Jude untangles Wickham's tragic story, she discovers threatening links to the present. What have Summer's nightmares to do with Starbrough folly, the eerie crumbling tower in the woods from which Wickham and his daughter, Esther, once viewed the night sky? With the help of Euan, a local naturalist, Jude searches for answers in the wild, haunting splendour of the Norfolk forests. Dare she leave behind the sadness in her own life, and learn to love again?

THE REALITY:-

Some books get read then put straight into the charity shop bag. And some get put on the shelf, if there's space, then shifted to the charity shop when something better needs to fill that space. And some get to stay forever- this novel certainly fits into the latter section.

What a great read! Slipping from the modern day to Georgian times (through Esther's diary) this book packs a punch of a tale. It's another of those stories that makes me wish I'd thought of all the ideas (and this book contains plenty of those!) first.

I've always had a thing for astronomy, and have made a point of visiting planetariums in both the northern and southern hemispheres. Whilst my teenage friends were more into astrology, I tended to prefer to immerse myself in Peter Davidson's stargazing programmes (kind of Patrick Moore for the less erudite!) which were on late on a Sunday evening. The finer points have been thoroughly researched and brought to life. Add to that the fairytale dimension of a Rapunzel-esque folly tower and strange dreams that connect both Jude and Summer to the past and you have a recipe for a magical story.  I also like the fact that this book is set in Norfolk, where I grew up, and includes areas I know.

I have read Rachel Hore before, and she seems to often add a human element by having a character who's getting over some kind of romantic break, and going through a personal metamorphosis, which adds a great dimension of sadness and new beginnings that the reader can connect to emotionally.

You'll love this book, with all its unexpected twists and turns: it is something really special!